NICU – Be your baby’s Advocate!

This was the most meaningful actionable advice I have taken and put in action.

In his Premature Baby Book, Dr. William Sears says, “Be your baby’s advocate. Your many hours of being with your baby give you an intuitive sense of baby’s progress, whether for better or worse. Mother’s and father’s eyes will see things that no one else sees”

He adds “Veteran nurses expect you to be your baby’s advocate, but they also appreciate being treated with respect.

"Don't be afraid to ask questions"Premature Baby Book

Until I read this chapter, I was asking some questions, but I was more concerned about being nice or super respectful to doctors and nurses. I was more worried about how they might feel about me asking all these questions and following up every single detail about D.’s medical situation.

Post reading the book, I owned the whole process. The book made me realize that I was the ultimate caregiver for MY child even though I was not able to physically care for her then. I was the one who was responsible for her lifetime health and happiness. So, I started asking questions in a more conformtable manner. I never disrespected nurses. However, when a nurse did not feel comfortable when I asked whether her iron is given that day or not, I kept being insisting as it was my right to know D.’s daily routine and it was her job to know whether it was given or not.

There are two types of nursing style I came to know in the process: 1- Nurses who will be SO on top of it that you will not look back leaving your baby with them. They have all the information; they are so confident with how they operate, and they will not shy away answering your questions. Indeed, they will be happy that you are following up with your baby. 2- Nurses, who are not very comfortable with themselves. They will usually not keep the information in their head, which is OK. I always thought it was best to check the book and make sure they provided an accurate response. However, they will not feel very eager to share details with you. They will give you super short answers leaving information missing. With these nurses, I made it clear that I needed the information for my own sanity. They got used to me over time and they started feeling more comfortable with me.

It is a relationship that you build over time. Respect is critical yet trying to be overly respectful might lead you to miss out on cricitical information about your baby.