NICU - Night stay option

Our routine for visiting NICU was twice daily (mornings and evenings). I gave birth, left the hospital without my D., and saw her only for 4 hours a day. NOT FUN!

I did not get to hold my baby as much as I wished / needed. Skin to skin care is what you need for bonding, for breastfeeding hormones and etc. I had to pump milk to be fed to her as she was not stable enough to nurse. Even after she became well enough to nurse, I still did not get to do it as frequently as it should have been. I remember telling my sister that I did not feel like a mother with all that we have been going through. I felt like a machine trying to go by the necessities that was required of me. Again, NOT FUN!

Besides, I had to drive back and forth twice every day, which was a 2-hour drive in total. Eat, pump, shower, drive!

Night stay should be mandatory for all NICUs. You get to have a private room where you spend all your minutes with your newborn, which you and her need the most!

In our case, D. was with other 20 preemies in one spacious room in which I was exposed to different cases too. One day, I saw a mother breastfeeding her baby, the next day he was gone:(

I had to keep it positive for D. and I should have been in my best form mentally and physically so I could keep it together. I had to sustain my milk amount and I had to be there in the moment with my little one.

But how does one deal with such a situation? I was highly affected by every incidence I got to witness. At one point, my favorite nurse told me that I needed to stop comparing D.'s situation with the cases ended up badly. I was obviously not able to stop it right then. However, I decided that I cannot bond with other babies, and I had to totally focus on mine. After that day, I included all the babies in the NICU in my prayers but did not observe them or their situation anymore.

If we had a separate room, my trauma and D.'s trauma from the incidence could have been less and we could have had more private time together from the very beginning.

I repeat again! Night stay should be mandatory or at least an option in every single NICU hospital for the sake of baby's healthy development and mother's postpartum health.

p.s. I can safely say I very much feel like a mother now and we compensated ALL the time spent separately:) Today, whenever she wakes up at night and calls me, I rush to her room and hold her tight and appreciate the moment we get to share, and we fall asleep.