My Miraculous Birth Story

"Nothing bad ever happens on Christmas Eve"

the pimple right in the middle of my forehead says it all:)

It was the day before Christmas Eve. I was 27 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I was sitting in the emergency room with my blue woven straps dress on. Of course, this was the dress I would come to hospital to deliver with, it literally was my uniform during pregnancy.

I came to the ER due to the cramps I consistently had for 3 hours at night, then fell asleep out of exhaustion. Possibility of delivery starting has not cross our minds, not for one second. I woke up fine in the morning, thought it would be wise to get checked (thinking all should be OK). I am not sure if I was ignoring the possibilities or simply being ignorant. Went to Le Pain to get a quick breakfast and let the steam off. When I wanted to get up from the chair, I was not able to as the cramps started again.

Rushed to the hospital. Initial diagnosis was infection. I was almost super happy that it was ‘just’ infection. Got happy too soon though. Investigation was showing that water sac was on its way. It was not ruptured but it was making its way to initiate delivery.

"Are we losing D?" I whispered to my husband. My husband was keeping it cool and trying to calm me down. Hospital manager came in and explained how the procedure goes and she added “we have a 23 week old baby in our NICU who made it fine” This was my introduction to world of prematurity.

Shortly after, I was put on antibiotics to treat the unknown infection. Plan was: 1- Find out the type of infection within the next 72 hours, which is the amount time laboratory needs to produce cultures 2- Try to treat the infection with an antibiotic that targets multiple type of bacteria 3- Stop the contractions with another type of medicine 4- Hope water sac goes back once infection is treated 5- Get steroid shots to improve baby’s lungs IN CASE delivery happens.*

ULTIMATE GOAL: Keep the baby in as long as possible. Each day counts the doctor said. I was convinced I was going to get to 32 weeks. It was going to be an early delivery no matter what. It was a matter of how many additional days or weeks.

Next morning, on Christmas Eve, we became parents.

All was fine with contractions slowing down and me getting some sleep until 11 pm. Contractions gradually increased until 2 am. It was around 3 am, everybody in the room knew I was in delivery. Once my husband and I established that I was delivering, we somehow decided to go with the flow. A minute ago, I was begging my girl to stay inside and a minute later I was begging her to come out.

My husband was taking pictures of us to make the most out of it. I remember the feeling of normalcy like I was delivering on time.

Once it was certain that I was in delivery, NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) team was called upon. They came to our room with their fancy and intimadating equipments, which I was going to see later. They were waiting quietly right behind the curtains. At 07:26, my tiny D. came out. I remember her tiny body coming out to the bed and being wrapped in a plastic bag right away.

I heard the clatter behind the curtain. However, I was too tired to pay attention. I remember asking my husband, if she is ok. He said she is OK as if he had a clue:) Even though I was not put on any pain killers, I felt like I have been anesthetized. Everything was blurry, still is even to this day.

Around 20 minutes later, NICU doctor brought her to us. She was the smallest baby I have ever seen in my life with the biggest tube put in her mouth. Her little, drained face was barely seen. I was allowed to touch her forehead for a few seconds which was the only visible part on her face. I remember being terrified of hurting her so I gently touched her with my fingertips.

I read a decent amount of books during my pregnancy. I skipped all the parts about early delivery. Never ever imagined I would have to deliver early. There we were with a premature baby, and a journey with great uncertainty ahead of us.

Dress I was wearing to the hospital..... I hated it for a while after delivery that I wanted to put it in trash. I never wanted to see that dress ever again. It gave me all the bad vibes about pregnancy and delivery, which was the last thing I needed. However, I washed it, folded it, put it in the wardrobe until I felt better about things. It was D.'s first month at home. We all dressed up to go out in the sun to take some pictures. I wore my blue dress. I loved it again.

* During my research about early deliveries, I found out that in some cases mothers also get magnesium treatment before the delivery. According to some studies, Magnesium sulfate helps prevent Cerebral Palsy in preterm infants. Might be worth checking with your doctor. (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24290398/)