Tips for Nursery Settling-In Period

It took us a full three weeks during settling-in period for her to truly start enjoying the nursery. Over this period, we experimented with various strategies to ensure a smooth transition. You are welcome to try them and assess their effectiveness for you and your family.

1- Half-day at school / Nap at home: We chose to start with a half-day school schedule. Our objective was to ease her into the nursery gradually for a shorter amount of time while maintaining her nap routine at home and allowing her enough time for play and relaxation. Nursery quickly became her happy place. When she no longer needs naps, we will transition her into an extended schedule at the nursery.

2- Reading separation / nursery books: We have been reading a book named The Kissing Hand, which is about separation months before nursery. Over the past few weeks, we have revisited the book multiple times, and it has been a way for her to share her feelings piece by piece. She sometimes still pretends to be the racoon who does not want to leave her mama’s side in a quirky way😊 Additionally, we added another nursery-related book to our list, which is called I am Starting Nursery by Campbell Big Steps. She loved this book very much as it perfectly mirrored her nursery routine.

3- Staying nearby until she felt comfortable: During the first three weeks, I waited in the school’s designated waiting area to make sure I was present in case she felt uneasy. This practice helped her establish the idea that our reunion would always happen, and I would not disappear without her being comfortable in this entirely new environment. It feels like it will last forever but it does not😊 She confidently waves goodbye at the door, sends me off with a big smile and heads to class with her teacher.

4- Inquiring about the day: During the first week, I was up in her neck, asking about her day, trying to get her to share. I was dying to know. However, I realized she was not really enjoying answering all these questions, so I stopped. I gave her space and decided to be there whenever she wanted to share. Eventually she started opening up, sharing bits and pieces, asking questions about things and it felt more natural. This has become a routine now. We talk about school whenever she feels like it, which happens quite often like ALL THE TIME😊

5- Keeping the home routine: We kept engaging in activities that made her happy after school. We enjoyed pool time, played with her friends in community, continued our daily dinner table conversations, in which she now actively participates. We tried to ensure that our way of doing things remained unchanged or unrushed.

6- Evolution on the journey: In the second week, I noticed her becoming a bit hesitant. She started requesting my assistance with tasks she used to handle independently before nursery such as feeding herself and climbing the stairs. It seemed like she was feeling less confident physically. To help her regain her confidence, I took her to soft play areas after school and gave her space to explore. I observed from a distance. When she asked or insisted that I join in, something she was used to, I encouraged her and followed along from afar, and letting her lead the way. It was clear that this was a new and exciting experience for her, and she thoroughly enjoyed independent play. I should have done this much earlier. It is a learning process for us parents too. So, it is okay.

7- Managing language exposure: On the way home, out of nowhere she told me that she did not understand her teacher. Apparently, being in an environment where people talk in a foreign language bothered her. Her teacher suggested that they use picture cards to communicate with her. I explained the way forward to her and she was happy. I also bought some English books, I translated them into Turkish first. Then I read the English versions as per her request. I am confident she will pick it up in no time so we still stick to our native language as the primary language at home.

8- School bell connection: In the initial days, we were busy with handling the separation anxiety and often did not even notice the school anthem playing. It is not only a beautiful anthem but also serves as a gentle signal for parents to leave. By the second week, after explaining to her we needed to when the anthem ended, Daddy started departing at that time. It soon became a cue between the three of us, and she even started saying, “It is time for you to leave” when she heard the anthem. We no longer use the anthem association as she dismissed us earlier.

9- Using time timer: Time Timer is a visual timer designed to show a tangible representation of the passing time. It simplifies the concept of time for younger children. We used it in the first days to emphasize reunion would happen in 5 minutes, 10 minutes or 20 minutes. By setting the time for 10 minutes, we provided her with a visual aid to track and feel at ease with the passage of time. I found that it is an amazing tool. However, it did not suit our daughter’s needs, as her comfort more hinged more on familiarizing to her environment and the presence of new individuals within.

10- Dedicated lunch bag: At first, she used to go to school just with her backpack and we would tuck her water bottle and snack inside it. When the snack time came around, she would carry the backpack with her. However, once snack time was over, having her backpack made her think that school had been over. That is when her teacher recommended that we get a small, separate lunch bag for her. This way, snack time arrived, she would take her lunch bag along, leaving her backpack behind. It did the trick. After enjoying her snack in the cafeteria, she made her way back to her classroom. The initial return was not overwhelmingly joyful but she settled in a few minutes apparently. And it did succeed in breaking the habit of leaving after snack time. Over time, it evolved into a joyful and routine experience.

11- Introducing a new toilet: In the nursery, they offer small toilets designed for toddlers, making it a new experience in its own right. To help her get used to the unfamiliar surroundings, new faces, and the original toilet, we let her practice using it before drop-off time until she became more comfortable.

12- Focusing on her individual journey: I deliberately avoided asking about the behavior of other children during the settling-in period. My primary focus was finding ways to help her adjust as smoothly as possible. I strongly believe every child is unique, which is why it is essential for the nursery team to customize their settling-in approach to each child individually.

Unfortunately, there is no single, one-size-fits-all solution for a smooth transition to nursery. Instead, it is a combination of various actions, and maintaining a strong relationship with the nursery team throughout the process. Regardless of the specific steps you choose to take, the ultimate goal is for children to enter the nursery happily and leave it with a smile.