Feeling like a mom

"Neat looking mom with her adorable baby attached to her body went into a coffeeshop as if it was such a calm, ordinary day for the two of them. It was like mommy decided to take her daughter out to a neighborhood coffeeshop just to enjoy themselves.

Well reality is usually different from what it seems from outside, especially for parents.

She was supposed to some errands which were urgent and required rather long drive. She buckled her daughter into her car seat. She was OK for 5 minutes, then she started crying hysterically. She stopped the car to nurse her. No luck. They played in the car for a few minutes which calmed her down. She tried the car seat again, it worked for another 5 minutes. In the next lights, she started crying again.

Well she decided today was not the day. She got mad inside. Coffee would be a good idea."

That day in the coffeeshop while I was impatiently waiting for my coffee it hit me. I felt like a normal mom for a minute there. All that hassle and fussiness made me frustrated. But that was OK. Type of frustration was changing form. It was not the uncertainty with all the scans, sessions, report that was driving me crazy anymore but it was rather normal things which drive all moms nuts.

These moments increased day by day slowly but surely. At some point I stopped noticing them. Once I realized I don't feel like a preemie mom anymore, it was like dark clouds going away and rainbow coming out to color my life.

I am sure I experienced this feeling countless times in my life. The intensity of the feeling this time...No words can do:)