Post NICU – Normalcy ever again?

What was the definition of normal for you and what is it now?

one of those sleepless nights which I thought were going to last forever:)

For me, things have get much better after 35th day post delivery. This 40 day myth apparently is not a myth. In the first 40 days, I felt like my body was failing me. I was not in my real self even though it was normal delivery and I’m definitely not talking about the extra couple pounds I had. I had to deliver due to infection in my placenta and was put on heavy antibiotics which later caused C-difficile bacteria. Then I was put on a different set of antibiotics to fight C-difficile. On top of it, my D-dimer level went off the roof so I had to get an injection for 10 days. It took a whole month for my body to heal physically and at times thinking I would never gain my strength again gave me tears.

There were times I thought this is it for us, and this is the life we are going to have from now on. Everybody around us of course had an opinion but was struck with this one thing I was told in the process. She said "it is ok to grieve, just be aware this is not permanent." I don’t think I understood what exactly she meant at the time. Now I do.

After 40 days, I somewhat had a routine established. PUMP! EAT! NICU! PUMP! NICU! EAT! PUMP! SLEEP! PUMP! GOOGLE PREMATURE BABIES! PUMP! GOOGLE! PUMP! PASS OUT!

This was my new normal and I have to admit I didn’t like it very much. But I sticked to it. It gave me some sanity to get going with the whole drama.

Once we took D. home (8 weeks post delivery), things have drastically changed for the better yet it was still super challenging. My husband took all his leave days and we took care of D. together for around a month. It was mainly rushing for things whether it is cooking, nursing and feeding D., finding ways to get her to sleep etc. It was a new routine all together. This time around I enjoyed it. I did not get to sleep with my baby for so long and now she was here with me home skin to skin 24-7. Yet still there were times I thought is this how it is going to be like for the rest of my life?

A daddy friend recently said something so relatable: “Our parents told us it gets much better after 6 months, once she is 9 months you will be fine, hang in there it gets super easy after 12 months. And we are here passed one year mark and it is still not easy😊”

I guess things actually don’t really get easier. It is really about relativity. You get used to your new routine, your new way of life. Your definition of normalcy changes. So does it ever get normal again? Yes and no😊Your life gets back to normal but your new normal is different now😊

Cheers to your new normal!!